Who is RAW and CIA agent?

The number and audacity of terror attacks in Pakistan has increased significantly over the year. Despite Taliban claiming these attacks the most asked question in Pakistani media is - "Who is behind these terror attacks?". We sat down with the noted defense analyst from Pakistan Mr. Zaid Gul to talk about who is behind these terror attacks.

Abhi Tak: Welcome Mr Gul. Can you please tell us who is behind these terror attacks?
ZG: There is one thing you must understand that there are three kind of Zionists - Jewish Zionists, Hindu Zionists and Christian Zionists. They are trying to break Pakistan, the way they broke Yugoslavia. It is these RAW and CIA people who are behind these attacks. India and the USA are the biggest threat to Pakistan.

Abhi Tak: But Mr Zardari says that India is not a threat to Pakistan.
ZG: who do you think Asif Zardari is? He is a RAW and CIA agent.

Abhi Tak: Don't you think it could be home grown terrorists. After all there are a lot of terrorists in Pakistan. For example Osama bin Laden was also found in Pakistan.
ZG: This is all Zionist propaganda. Osama bin laden died 6 years ago. Even Benazir Bhutto said it in an interview with BBC.

Abhi Tak: But in the same interview Benazir Bhutto also said that Taliban was the biggest threat to Pakistan.
ZG: who do you think Benazir Bhutto is? She is a RAW and CIA agent.

Abhi Tak: There are reports that the PNS Mehran attack was planned by Ilyas Kashmiri.
ZG: It is quite possible. After all Ilyas Kashmiri is a RAW and CIA agent.

Abhi Tak: But Ilyas Kashmiri is the person who presented the head of an Indian soldier to General Musharraf and the General gave him the reward of 100K rupees.
ZG: who do you think Pervez Musharraf is? He is a RAW and CIA agent.

Abhi Tak: How can you say that Indian and American agents are causing all these suicide bombings in Pakistan when Taliban openly claims responsibility for these attacks?
ZG: who do you think Taliban are? They are RAW and CIA agents.

Abhi Tak: But if Taliban are Indian and American agents then why is there a high support for them inside Pakistan.
ZG: who do you think these Pakistanis are? They are RAW and CIA agents.

Abhi Tak: Last question Mr Gul - you are claiming everyone is Indian and American agent. Do you know anybody who is not?
ZG: Yes I am not an Indian or American agent.

Abhi Tak: Thanks for taking time to talk to us Mr Gul. It was indeed very informative. Before we depart we would like to tell you what Pakistan people think of you based on our survey.
ZG: What is that?

Abhi Tak: Sir they think you are a RAW and CIA agent.

My thoughts on last week.

Thanks god its Friday and one of the most interesting week in a long time comes to an end. A lot of this happened this week which forced me to come out of my writing hibernation. First of all my sympathies are with the victims of Japan earthquake. As Bill 'O Reilly discusses with Lou Dobbs how this earthquake is good for the US economy, I would like to apologize to Japanese people on his behalf. Fox news is full of assholes.

Fox news doesn't have monopoly on assholes. NPR has its own asshole and his name is Ron Schiller. Yes the president of NPR. As he massages the ego of the fake Muslim Brotherhood front group, he complains about how racist the gun toting white middle America is and how this country is full of illiterates. Has this pseudo intellectual any idea what the real world is like? I suggest that he takes a trip to Saudi Arabia, Yemen or Somalia. He will know what racism and illiteracy is. I sometimes wonder whether I am surprised more by the stupidity of these pseudo intellectuals or by their dishonesty. These are the same people who fired Juan Williams for an innocent personal opinion, citing the reason that having such personal opinions can cause conflict in his objectivity.

This sting operation on NPR gave a shot in the arm to the republicans who are demanding that federal funding be stopped for NPR. The basis of such demand is very dishonest because NPR's voice conflicts with their political objectives. For all their tall claims about American values they should know that silencing the dissent is not the American way.

Another incident that caught my eye this week was the Senator King hearing on radicalization of Muslim Americans. You have got to be kidding me senator? You seriously have no idea? Leaders from your party have for years let Saudis pour billions of dollars to American mosques, schools and universities to spread their virulent Wahhabi ideology so that their oil magnet buddies could make billions. Trust me your party has sold America to the Saudis and now you wonder why American Muslims are being radicalized. I really don't think this hearing will serve any purpose.

I am not alone in opposing the King hearing. All the Muslim brotherhood front groups in all their hues, MSA, CAIR and other Muslim organizations are against it too. But our reasons to oppose it are different. Recently I was listening to NPR and this woman Mona Eltahawy was opining that how the Islamophobia in America is spreading to alarming levels and how this hearing will single out Muslims for terrorism and will cause more Islamophobia and further radicalize American Muslims. Fox news does spread Islamophobia, I will give you that but so does killing non-Muslims in Muslim lands, suicide bombings, blowing up embassies, killing homosexuals, stoning women and destroying churches. There is usually talks about the first but never about the second.

After complaining for 15 minutes how bad it is for Muslims in the USA, the NPR presenter asked Mona - "So are you going to continue on the path of obtaining American citizenship". Mona answered - "Yes, clearly this country needs a lot of help". Seriously Mona, is this why you want to stay in the USA - to help America? To help Americans have a better understanding Islam? Tell you what Mona, why don't you go to Egypt and teach your compatriots who are blowing up churches, killing Copts and abducting their women in order to convert them, about the real Islam. I am sure that will go a long way in countering the Islamophobia. America clearly needs help but far less than your native country Egypt and definitely not from people like you. On the other hand you are very much welcome to live in America, obtain American passport and enjoy the fruit of American dream because Egypt clearly doesn't have the freedom and security that you have here but then again if we were to believe CAIR and MSA, Muslims are under siege in this country. Clearly even in such allegedly worse environment, America provides more freedom and security than your native country.

I really resent the arrogance of such people who keep on complaining how uneducated, ignorant and racist Americans are just to feel good about themselves. In their native countries these people were "intellectuals", here they are nobody. They then form a mutual admiration groups and lament on the ignorance of Americans. And when there is a disaster in their native countries they will cry for help - from America. What they don't seem to realize that it is these ignorant Americans who provide tax dollars to fund the aid to all the third world countries. America is these "ignorant" Americans.

Last but not least, I can't help but mention Representative Keith Ellison. Muslim Brotherhood clearly betted on the right horse. His performance in the King hearing was really inspiring. Rep, Ellison if this politics thing doesn't work out for you, you have a very bright career waiting for you in the melodramatic Indian film industry called Bollywood.

Indian punks

Have you ever seen so many indian stars flipping the proverbial bird or giving the one finger salute. What can I say, Indians are really punk to the core.